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| Tenchi in Pahrump |
“You don’t need to know until you’re older. Now let’s go, there’s no need to have no need for no needing.”
“What are you talking about Grandma?”
“I’m not sure child, I have the uncontrollable urge to say ‘no need’. We’d better hurry away from this cave.”
***********
Ever since I was a small child Grandma would never tell me what’s in the cave...Well I’m not a child anymore. I’m going to see what’s in there! Alana ventured deeper into her grandmother’s room searching for the key that would fit the lock keeping her out of the cave.“Child! What are you doing in my room?!”
“Uh oh ah, nothing, I was looking for you.”
“Under my bed?”
“You never can be too careful with elders you know heh heh heh..” The girl sweatdropped profusely.
“You were looking for the key to the cave weren’t you?”
“Oh no what would make you think that???” Alana’s grandmother gave her “the look”. “Oh- alright so maybe I was. Aren’t I old enough to see what’s in there?”
“There’s a horrible demon in there, and if you’re so eager to find it, then I’ll tell you where the key is.”
“You WILL?! Alright!”
“In a land so far away you will not make it, on a mountain so steep, you cannot climb it, in a lake so deep, you may not cross it, there is an island. And on that island is a church, and in the church is a well, and in the well is a duck, and in the duck is an egg, and in that eggs lays the key.”
“On a mountain, in a lake, on an island, in a church, in a well, in a duck, in an egg?!” **“borrowed” from sapsorrow”**
“That’s what I said. Not so easy is it?”
“I’ll find it, it will be an adventure!” So anyways, Alana found the mountain, and the lake, and thee island, and the church, and the well, and the duck, and the egg, and the key, and came home. She went straight for the cave and unlocked the gate that had kept her from the cave for all these years.
“What’s this?” Alana spotted what looked like a bird house. She opened the doors, revealing a sword. She drew the sword and was hailed as the queen of England...oh wait wrong story OOPS! What I meant to say was- she pulled the sword and waved it around a bit. What she didn’t notice was that the wall behind her had opened, and a hideous demon was walking out to get her. Alana turned to see the horrible creature.
“The demon!!!!!” She threw the sword at it, coming in direct contact with his head, causing him to fall back. Alana ran all the way out of the cave, locked the gate, booked it to the mountain, dove into the lake, swam to the island, knocked down the door of the church, leaned into the well, yanked the duck out by it’s neck, put the key back in the egg, and shoved the egg back into the duck.
“Whew, no way nu uh, I should have listened to my Grandma, I’m not going back in there!” She dropped the duck back into the well and made it back home.
***********
“Oh no...I’m going to be late!” Alana pulled her shoulder-length black hair into its usual ponytail before running out the door. “Alright Grandma! I’m going to school now!”“Don’t forget, you have to clean the shrine, so don’t stay after school today!” Alana walked to school, making it just in time before the bell rang.
“Naughty, naughty- you were almost late today Alana...”
“Shhh Inagasaki, are you trying to get me into trouble?”
“Alana, would you like to stay after school today?”
“No Miss Makenzie...” Miss Makenzie began the class with a short arithmetic lesson.
“Oh boy, I just love arithmetic time don’t you?”
“Inagasaki, you know math is my worst subject...” Miss Makenzie walked up and down the rows, stopping at Alana’s desk and leaning down and whispering.
“Strange weather we’re having today? Er no...I was supposed to tell that to Sakura...and I don’t; see her in here...oh goodness! I’m in the wrong class!” Miss Makenzie ran out of the classroom as fast as she could. As the students were trying to figure out what to do without a teacher, a man with a bump on his head walked through (yes THROUGH) the wall. The kids panicked and ran every-which-a-way. Alana jumped up and shouted-
“Moon crystal power!” But nothing happened. “I SAID Moon crystal POWER!” Nothing. “Why isn’t this working??”
“Psssssssst- Alana, you are not sailor moon!!”
“Oh, you’re right Inagasaki... Well, you know what this means right?” Alana nodded to her friend and ran like hell out the door past the man. He followed her into the hall.
“I am the prince of all demons once again!” Alana stopped and looked out the window for a moment, before yelling.
“TRUNKS! YOU’RE UNBELIEVABLY HOT!!!” And then continued running. “I know who you are!” She called back to her pursuer. “You’re that demon that is supposed to be in my cave! Why don’t you go back there!” Alana stopped running just in time to see a big space ship crash land on the demon’s head. “Goodness...” As Alana examined thee ship, the two passengers came out.
“Greetings, we are from Jurai, and we crashed here. My name is Princess Kevin, and this is my little brother, Little.”
“Um, hi? My name is Alana, I guess you two could stay with me until you get your spaceship thingy fixed. I mean you DID just help me out by squishing that demon.” Just then- the demon came up through the ship and stood beside them.
“AHHH! It’s Princess Kevin! From Jurai! He’s going to get me!”
“AHHH! It’s Jake! The notorious space demon who killed my sister whom I was supposed to marry!” Inagasaki, happened to be standing by and overheard the conversation.
“I don’t care WHAT planet you’re from! You do NOT marry your BROTHER!!!” And THEN, another space ship cam crashing down on top of Inagasaki’s head(of course she’s not a demon so she’s a little dead). As everyone was looking at the ship in awe, the two passenger’s hopped out.
“Goodness! I can’t ever get that landing right...”
“I will need to do some testing on the capability of your brain first class detective Duo.”
“Whatever you say, Sean. You’re the genius scientist.”
“Uh- YOU JUST KILLED MY BEST FRIEND!!!”
“Oh, I can fix her up! No problem!” *insert patented Washu laugh here*
“I think I should just take you all home and let my grandma sort you out...”
***********
“Was there really a church on that island? WITH a well, and a duck?”“Yes grandma.”
“Wow...ahem. Well Alana, this is a fine mess you’ve gotten yourself into. Now you have to let all these gentlemen stay in our house until they are able to leave for their respective homes.”
“Wait a minute...I recognize you! You’re my sister! The one I was supposed to marry!”
“I don’t care what planet you are from, you do not marry your brother.” The Inagasaki robot that Sean built chimed.
“Oh hush!” Princess Kevin kicked the Inagasaki robot over, causing it to spark, and short-circuit.
“Well, Kevin, now that you’ve found me out, we can still get married!”
“Alright! Let’s do it!”
“Wait a minute!!!! Aren’t *I* supposed to marry the princess? Since I AM your descendant, and I am his age...”
“Oh yeah...well let’s get you two married.”
“No!”
“Wait!”
“You can’t!”
“To the princess?”
“What about us??” Duo, Sean, Little, and Jake all cried.
“Um, well, this is destiny, and you all stink, and I really like Kevin and so uh yeah, I’m going to marry him.” The four boys took turns kicking the sparking Inagasaki robot on the floor as they left the house.
And then Princess Kevin and Alana were married, and they moved to Jurai because all the sparks from the Inagasaki robot burnt down the house. THE END.