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| The craft-stick-fueled-time-machine |
"Listen shit bitch, my brother is on his way over so you and Alana had just best be ready."
"Who the hell is this?"
"You don't know who this is crack whore? Shitty dick, you're coming to Jake's house so wake up!" The oh so ever so RUDE boy on the other line hung up, leaving Doris a little flustered.
"Lana...getup. You're going to Jake's and some shit-head's brother is on his way to pick you up." Alana groggily opened her eyes and rolled over in Doris's bed.
"What are you talking about? Who's coming to get me? Where am I going? Why aren't you coming with me?"
"Some asshole just called, told me to tell you that his brother is coming to pick us up and take us to Jake's house. I can't go because my dad is making me stay home to wait for a package."
**Flashback**
~Doris's dad with the fires of hell burning behind him. Doris is cowering in Chibi form before him~
"DO NOT GO ANYWHERE UNTIL THE PACKAGE IS IN THE HOUSE!!! YOU GOT THAT INFADEL!!"
**End Flashback**
The pair of girls got out of bed (well Alana got out of bed seeing how she took over Doris's the night before, so Doris had to sleep on the floor). Doris wrapped in a quilt turned on her computer to start a wonderful day of sitting online. Alana ran into the bathroom and started getting ready. Imeadiately after Doris got online her little ICQ flower started blinking. There was a message from Kyojin that said that Jason had said he was close to leaving his house 40 minutes ago. "Ah shit...ALANA!! You'd better hurry! Jason will be here any minute!!!" Loud thumps could be heard as Alana quickened her pace to get ready.
A few minutes later Jason pulled up in the driveway, looking none to happy. Alana dashed out the door and into the car. Doris waved goodbye and good riddance (Just kidding!!) to them and sat back down at her computer. *It would be nice to blast some music, but knowing my luck the homo ups man would show up and I wouldn't hear him. Then my dad would be hella pissed.* So she settled for having to lean in really close to the speakers to hear any sort of noise at all.
A few hourse later, an extremely skiddish Doris stared out the family room window watching for the ups man. "Can't miss package...dad will kill me....can't miss package....dad will kill me..." She sat there for at least another hour before the homo ups man came and delivered his package. "Yes! Now I can listen to loud things!!" Unfortunately, after a full day of almost complete silence, any noise just plain freaked the poor girl out. "Oi vey....I guess I'd better clean the house and make dinner so my dad will let me go to Alana's house."
After cleaning and preparing dinner, Doris sat down and watched X-men. Another re-run, however it was her favorite episode. "Sugoi!!!" With no company in the house, and no noise to break the silence, Doris was forced to talk to herself. "That was awesome don't ya think?"
"Oh yes, I thought it was great! Did you watch Sailor moon today?"
"No! I missed it! What happened?"
"Well, the bad guy was going to set up a fake dentist office..." Well you get the picture. Finally her dad got home, stopping the conversation.
"You got the pakage good, you finished the dishes, good, you swept, good, you made dinner, good...what's this?? You didn't work on your bridge?!?!!!!!!!!!" ~The fires of hell flare up behind him as he starts to yell~ "I can't beleive you! ROAR!! You didn't even touch it! You're going to fail in school now! Every single class you will get an F- in because you didn't work on your bridge today! Now you're going to end up a bum on the corner and no one will give you any sympathy because you did not work on your bridge!!!!" ~The fires intensify as he howls~ Usually, Doris would be terrified at such a display, but an idea popped into her head at the moment. She lunged forward at her dad, knocking him off balance long enough to make her way to the kitchen, where she grabbed a spoon, and spooned her dad to death. (hey it was a pretty big spoon)
She took the "craft sticks" that were meant for her bridge and took them to Alana's house after stopping at Sean's house to steal a few of parts for her creation. After a long and tiring walk to Alana's Doris realized that with her father dead, she could have easily used the car, and it would have been a lot easier than pushing a wheel barrel full of parts. "Shitty dick, I can't beleive I did that...oh well, I'm here now aren't I?" She knocked on the door. Ron answered it, and Doris spooned him to death as well. Alana looked at the scene wide-eyed and confused. "Don't worry Alana, everything is going to be fixed. He's not really dead, well actually he is, but he won't be for long."
"What are you talking about? Why would I want him to be alive? Thank you!!"
"Alana, I need your help. I figured you would be perfect seeing how you're the 'smartest being in the universe' and all." Alana smiled and heartily agreed.
After hours of work and toil, their craft-stick-fueled-time-machine was completed. It was just big enough to fit the both of them. (dar what a shock huh?) The girls nodded to eachother and turned their creation on. Soon after, they were being swept through the fabric of the space-time continuum. "Hey Alana! What do you say we have a little fun before we set things straight?"
"I was just about to suggest the same thing!!" The controls were changed to the third day of school, 1997. A young Doris walked down the hall, head downcast trying to stay out of the way, she spots stupid gay ass homo Caroll, and smiles. The older Doris ran between them before any contact could be made, and kicked Gay Ass Stupid MoFo Caroll in the nuts. The younger Doris was totally shocked, she tried to run to Carol's side, but was stopped by her older self. Alana came over and continued to kick Stupid Gay Ass MoFo Shit head Caroll in various hurty places.
"I don't understand...you look just like me....and you beat the piss out of poor-"
"Don't say it. That asswipe doesn't deserve your pitty, or anyone else's for that matter. And I look like you for a reason. I AM you, a much cooler future you that is. Take it from me kido, I just saved you a world of hurt. Trust me, it's going to be alright, and before you know it- you'll be pimpin' Doris whoo hoo!!"
"Really? wow...."
"Yep, well I gotta go now, I don't want Alana to kill Doofas over there."
"Wait a minute, I become friends with Alana?"
"Yeah."
"Well what about Vanessa and Kyndahl and Melissa?"
"Oh girl- do NOT get attatched to them. They're nothing but a bunch of backstabbing hippies who smoke weed." Furture Doris ran back to Alana and pried her off Supid homo shit face Caroll. They jumped back on their time machine and set the controls for the day Lise left to go snowboarding.
"What the hell?? How did you guys get in my house? And what is that thing you're riding on?"
"SHHH Lise. It's a time machine. We've come to take you to get snowboarding lessons with us."
"But I'm leaving in like 10 minutes."
"DUH Lise, we DO have a time machine. We simply go back in time, play around in the snow for however long we like, and then bring you back to right now. No sweat."
"Oh. Okay!" Luckily, Lise was small enough to fit on the craft-stick-fueled-time-machine. They went back a few weeks to brianhead (I honestly couldn't tell you if there was snow there or not, so just pretend there was if there really wasn't. This IS a fictional story after all people, and you're SUPPOSED to use your imaginations) and Alana taught Lise and Doris to snowboard, and it was fun. Then they returned to Lise's present and dropped her off. "Thanks! Now I'll be able to snowboard and it'll be cool!" With smiles and waves, Doris and Alana took off again.
"Okay- now we should get to work and fix-" Alana stopped mid-sentence as she witnessed Trunks fly by in his time machine. "How about we follow him?"
"I don't see why not!!! Let's Go!! Yeah!!" So the two crazed girls flew afer the incredibly hot Trunks. Not too long after, they caught up with him. He noticed them waving out of the corner of his eye, and just about crapped his pants.
"What is going on? How did you two get here?"
"Hi Trunks!!"
"How do you know me?" The confused bishounen took off in his time machine attempting to loose the crazy girls.
"mmmmm, maybe that was the wrong way to approach him."
"I agree. Let's have another go at it shall we?" Doris checked the craft stick suply.
"We don't have a lot of fuel left, we'd better just finish what we came to do." So, releuctantly, the girls set the controls for that morning. They arrived just in time to answer the phone before sleeping Doris could.
"Hey shit head! We'll be up and ready for your brother! Ha!" The phone was quickly hung up,leaving Ryan flustered.
"How did she know it was me? How did she know what I was going to say? Maybe I need to go back to sleep..."
"Wake up Doris sleepy head...time to wake up." Doris woke up to herself looking down on her.
"AHHHHHHHH!! WHAT THE HELL SORTA FREAKY DREAM IS THIS??"
"Calm down!!" Alana walked in the door. By now the other Alana was awake, and equally freaked out.
"Listen- we built a time machine..." (hey, if you don't know what's going on, maybe you should try to actually READ the top part of this story!)
After explaining the situation, and what was planned. All four girls got to work. Alana helped Alana get ready, and Doris helped Doris on her bridge. By the time Jason got there, Alana and Doris were ready to go. They both jumped in the car and went to Jake's house. The other Alana and Doris gave eachother five as they watched the car pull out of the driveway.
And so everyone had fun, and they were all happy, and future Alana and Doris used what remained of their craft sticks to follow after Trunks. THE END ^^